An Unexpected Lesson in Auto Mechanics

Let me put it this way: I may have set a record for the longest oil change in history. I could have driven down to Brattleboro and had my oil changed for $30 in ten minutes... well, in theory. Instead, it cost me five times that amount and took the entirety of this lovely, spring-like Saturday. It began when I decided to change the oil in my car by myself....

(For the sake of visualization, think of this part in black and white).
It was a lovely Saturday morning in Vermont. The air was clear, the daffodils almost in bloom, and the birds chirping. Meet Adam, a cheerful, happy amateur mechanic, excited to change the oil in his car as many young men do on the weekend. Now, this was not the first time he had changed the oil in his car; he had experience in the matter. All of the supplies were lined up beside the car, and with the radio tuned to NPR, he began his work.

The car was blocked and jacked up onto stands, and Adam could easily climb underneath. He looked for the drain plug on the oil pan, which he found with ease. All he needed was a gentle application of force to loosen the bolt, and watch the oil flow gently into his plastic bucket. But, something was wrong! The bolt wouldn't loosen! How could that be? Adam knew that over-tightening the bolt was not good for the oil pan, but his last mechanic must have tightened it too much!

(enter: villainous mechanic with handlebar mustache, sombrero, and dastardly fiddle music in the background)
"Haha!" said the mechanic, "I have tightened your oil pan bolt with my impact wrench of cruelty! I have destroyed the threads on your oil pan! Now, you will have to replace your oil pan! Wahahahahaha!"
(villain rides away on pogo stick waving a 17mm wrench in the air)

You see, really, a shadow was cast on my beautiful Saturday morning. So, instead of giving up entirely, I decided I was going to fix my car. I spent many hours removing the bolts from the oil pan, drilling a hole in the broken bolt to drain the oil, and pulling a heavily dented oil filter from under my car. Two of the bolts on the pan were hidden behind the engine, so I had a choice: remove the engine from the car, or spent lots of time fishing around behind the oil pan with a wobbly wrench and no visual clues as to where the bolts were. I chose the second. I mean, come on! I'm not going to take the engine out of my poor Subaru!

So, after the pan was off, I took it down to the dealership in our truck to see if they could fix the pan. They couldn't, of course, so I had to buy a new pan and gasket. (On my way down, I ordered Trevor's Guinea hens, which is a story for another day). I raced back up to Marlboro in the truck, and when I arrived I assembled the pan and gasket, cleaned up the underside of the engine, and put the sucker back on. It took an hour and a half alone to put in the hidden bolts. But, I installed the new pan, put on a new filter, filled it up with oil, took it for a spin around the block, and behold, no leaks thus far!

I'll check again in the morning to see how the pan is doing, but I think it's fairly well attached. *crosses fingers* The upside of this is that I can now replace an oil pan in a Subaru -- not an easy task! I think that I'll let the real mechanics change the oil in it next time.

The truck, however, is fair game....

Until next time, Yipppe kay-yea!